Memoirs
by The Pigeon One
Summary: Oneshot. Katara remembers. And she cannot be forced to regret the decisions that led her to fall in love. Kataang.


_Barely any author's notes this time, because I have nothing to say. I want this to speak for itself on its own._

Memoirs

I wish now that I could go back in time and tell my younger self that things are going to be okay, to tell myself that Aang is going to be okay, and that worrying is pointless. We spent so much time worrying back then that it would be a welcoming relief.

I remember one night after the invasion at the house on Ember Island when I had gone to Aang's room to talk to him. It was after that awful play, when he kissed me, and I felt awful about what I'd said. I was _not_ confused, and I had gone into his room to tell him so. I went to confess to him that I loved him and that I told him I was confused because I was terrified of loosing him and didn't want to start a relationship when I was worried about him dying.

But when I walked in, he was sound asleep on the floor with Momo curled up under his arm, like he had fallen asleep meditating. I smiled, intending, at first, to turn around and walk out. But he looked so peaceful, so innocent that I turned back around and sat down next to him on the cold, hard floor.

I remember shivering and grabbing the blankets off Aang's bed, tucking one around his lithe body and wrapping one around me. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the smell that he'd left on his blanket. It smelled musty and yet very sweet, almost like ginger, and I found myself wondering how he could leave such a lingering scent in his sheets, especially when he very rarely actually slept in the bed.

At first, I thought it might have just been a lingering scent from some other occupant from some time ago, but as I thought about it, I realized that the scent on the blanket I was holding to my nose smelled exactly like Aang, a mixture of crisp, fresh air, and ginger and the air before a storm, fresh like laundry, musky like wet earth, and shaving cream. He smelled wonderful.

I had loved Aang before this moment, of course. He was my best friend, and I would have died if anything happened to him. But it was in this instant I knew that I loved him. I knew then that I loved the bald headed boy on the floor in front of me, a boy destined to save the world, but also destined to _be_ _my_ world.

Careful not to wake him, I had touched his cheek, and when he didn't stir, I started stroking it. His skin was soft and unmarred by any blemishes. I traced a pattern, making circles with my thumb, and before I realized what was going on, Aang had snuggled towards my hand, like I was a beacon for him.

I don't know, even now, when my hand found his, but it did, and I intertwined my fingers with his and sighed at how right it felt. I knew I loved him, and I wanted to be with him forever.

Which was the problem. I knew that I couldn't take it if he faced the Fire Lord and died. I loved him too much. And I didn't want his sweet promises and his kisses on my lips if he was going to leave this world and me alone.

But I did promise myself – and Aang, though he was unconscious and he didn't know it – that if we both survived the war, we would start a real relationship, and I would tell him I loved him every day and he would do the same. If we survived the war, we could tune out the rest of the world and just be in love.

As with most of the actions of that night, I leaned over Aang's slightly parted lips, not knowing what I was doing. Holding my hair back so it wouldn't fall and tickle his face and wake him, I gently pressed my lips to his, savoring in the amazing taste of him. His breath was slow and steady – he _was_ asleep, after all – and as I moved away from him, his breath lingered on my face.

I fell asleep next to him that night. When he woke up in the morning I was curled into his side, still holding his hand with my arm draped over his torso and my head nuzzled into his neck. He gently pushed me, calling my name so he could wake me up.

When he managed to rouse me, I looked at him with tired, sleep filled eyes, and he looked at me with curiosity.

"How'd you end up in here?" he asked, and I smiled at him as I sat up, throwing his blanket off.

"I came into to check on you," I lied convincingly. "And you looked like maybe you were having a nightmare."

He smiled, and then suddenly seemed to realize that we were still holding hands. He yanked his back unexpectedly, and I blushed a deep red, embarrassed.

"Sorry," I told him, looking down at my feet. "That must have happened when we were asleep."

He just kept smiling at me, and he jumped up off the floor, offering me his hand to help me up, which I accepted. He led me out of his room, Momo chattering at us as we walked away.

And I remember the week after Sozin's Comet, at Zuko's coronation. I looked up at the Avatar in all his state and smiled, knowing that we would be going back to Ba Sing Se soon, and knowing that I loved him and we were going to be together.

Later, I remember our first kiss there on the balcony at the jasmine Dragon. Once, when I told him that that was our first kiss, he was insulted, saying that he had kissed me twice before that, and I laughed, telling him they didn't count because they were both surprises. He rolled his eyes at me, telling me that I was silly after kissing my forehead very sweetly.

I remember that kiss more vividly than anything else in the whole month we spent in Ba Sing Se, it was that fantastic. I went to him, knowing that it was going to happen, and even though I knew he felt the same way, I was nervous. I looked at him, the sun setting in front of us, and in the back of my mind, I was thinking how romantic the scene was.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I turned and hugged him, and I'm sure that he felt it. I smiled shyly at him.

And then my lips were on his, my arms around his neck, kissing him, and he was kissing me back. He tasted just like he smelled – perfect and wonderful and inviting and I loved him. I knew that this was going to be my life and I was going to marry this boy I was kissing and I was going to love him for the rest of my life.

Looking back on all this, I realize that Aang and I were always meant to me, and though I was right to wait until the war was over to tell him I loved him, I was stupid to not realize that I loved him before that night on Ember Island.

I know now, now that I am married to the Avatar and living at the Southern Air Temple and pregnant with Aang's child, that I loved him for so much longer than I had been willing to admit.

The war has been over for seven years and Aang and I have been married for two. I am so in love with him that it's dizzying, and I wonder how I never noticed how much he meant to me back then.

I can't make myself regret the actions that have brought me here. After all, I am very happily married with a baby on the way, and my husband loves me, and I love my husband. Gone are the days in which I doubted my feelings for Aang, gone are the days when I worried for his life. All of our fears have been replaced with joy, and I cannot imagine anyone else, with maybe the exception of my dear Aang, is any happier than I am.

END

_I'm still going to pretty much let this stand on its own, but I would just like to put it put there that I am absolutely in love with this. I feel like it's very vivid and if you flame it I will be very sad. So only positive reviews!_


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